Laos

Laos is a feast for the eyes and a rest for the ears. Certainly, having spent the last few months in busy Hanoi, Laos is a breath of fresh air, both literally and metaphorically. There is very little traffic and what traffic there is abides by the rules of the road without tooting horns once.

Laos is such a quiet place that some people haven’t heard of it at all and many could not name its capital city. Well, it’s Vientiane and it’s a rather picturesque place with beautiful buildings everywhere.

Laos was occupied by the French in the 19^th Century and that continued until 1953. The French influence continues – road signs (and many others) are in French as well as Lao in the capital and you can get Pain au Chocolat as good as any I’ve had in France.

It was mixed up in the Vietnam War (they call it The American War in these parts) too and, as a result, Laos has the dubious distinction of being the most bombed country, per head of population (about 6 million), in the world. This is because the Vietnamese used the jungles of Laos as a ‘secret’ passageway during the war. Not so secret it seems as the Americans dropped one planeload of bombs every eight minutes, day and night, for nine years. Many of them did not go off and so the country is absolutely littered with unexploded bombs, which makes farming a very dodgy enterprise. There are organisations devoted to clearing these bombs but it will take many more years.

It’s possible to see the main features of Vientiane in a day. There are beautifully-decorated temples everywhere as well as other buildings.

This one was modelled on the Arc de Triomphe in Paris.

Its lamps use low-energy light bulbs. Laos is moving with the times ...

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I then caught a bus to Luang Prabang, about 150 miles north of the capital. It might not be far, but it takes ages to get a bus up all the hills in between.

The Buddhist influence is strong and orange-robed monks are everywhere.

There's a hill in the middle of town and it's well worth the walk up it for the views.

I went to a demonstration of traditional dance. It was fun to watch, but I didn't have a clue what was going on.

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I wanted to see a bit of the countryside so I booked on a three-day trek. It was the best thing I could have done – several of my favourite activities squeezed into one trip. OK, so we didn’t eat chocolate spread sandwiches or go climbing, but there were the other things I enjoy.

We started by mountain biking along dirt roads for a few hours. We had to cross a river at one point so the local bike ferry was deployed.

We finished at an Elephant Village, a project devoted to protecting elephants, which are under threat in Laos. Here we had an elephant ride and were given our green lunch box – a banana leaf as a wrapper that contained rice with chicken and veg. Very nice too.

A brief dip at a waterfall followed ...

and then a walk to a village, which was home for the night. We weren’t too far from town but this was a step back in time for us all – there was a generator, which allowed for some houses to have a bit of light and access to Thai TV (a debatable pleasure!) in the evenings, but few trappings of modern life as we know it. Livestock was running everywhere, kids were rolling in the dirt having fun …

Bed was a mat, a thin duvet and a mosquito net in a bamboo hut.

The village rules are displayed for all visitors to see. Judging by some of them (e.g. point 6) they must have had a few unsavoury characters in the past. I wondered how I could leave my prostate outside my room …

Next day we walked over the hills, passing through a couple of villages. If they don’t have access to a road, the villages are really poor. Larger villages have a school but smaller ones certainly don’t, so the children either walk there or don’t go at all.

We stopped for buffalo noodle soup for lunch (rather tasty) and viewed snake & scorpion whiskey. I gave that a miss.

The next day we went kayaking. They use large, unsinkable (and rather cumbersome) plastic kayaks that will bounce down any rapids. It was a lovely paddle through beautiful scenery.

And that was my trip over. Now I’m back in Hanoi and back to work.

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There is no bike photo of the month as I didn’t see anything unusual on a bike in Laos.

Happy new year! I hope you had a good Christmas. I was at home and it was definitely worth the money to see all the family. I also got to the Peak District for a spot of walking in quite a few spots of rain...


















Walking in the rain is quite a niche activity that only seems to please a few people (in fact, I may be the only one) but being near my favourite climbing location, whatever the weather, made for a great holiday.





























We stayed in a really cosy cottage with rather low ceiling beams.

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Now, I'm not just your average expat - oh no, I'm a resident of Vietnam and now have a (temporary) Residency Permit to prove it. I had a nervous few moments at Heathrow airport however as the check-in guy hadn't seen one before. He looked at it for some time then passed it to his colleague, who looked at it for some time. They then both took it to a 3rd colleague, who looked at it for some time. My check-in guy eventually came back and said, 'OK' and I could breathe again.

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An ever-present feature of life on the streets are the xeoms. Literally 'hug bikes', these are motorbike taxis that are everywhere in Hanoi and, I suspect, other parts of Vietnam. They're a very handy way to get around town if you want them, and rather annoying if you don't. They find you before you find them. In town, you will constantly hear 'motobye?' (this is literally how it sounds) - their way of touting for business. If you want a lift you 1. Check they have a spare helmet (which might not fit); 2. Agree a price (vital) or pay way too much at your destination; 3. Get on and hold on tight - either the driver or, as I prefer, the back of the bike.

The only time you can't find one is outside work at 10pm, which is when I sometimes finish. This was one deciding factor that led to me buying a bike.

I don't know for sure, but I reckon that if you put all the xeom drivers end-to-end they would reach the moon. Well, some of them certainly try to reach speeds capable of getting you there. It's wise to hang on tight.

I can now proudly say 'I'm walking' to xeom drivers who want to give a lift. I usually point at my feet though - just to make sure they understand.

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The bread roll fiasco.

I bought a bread roll a few weeks ago. This may sound like an ordinary occurence but what followed was not. I bought it from a street vendor who was passing my front door; she charged me 5000 dong (about 15p) and I was happy with that. Well, a passing old lady was not. She saw what had happened and went ballistic - at the street vendor, not me thankfully. I stood there, bread roll in hand and jaw open while these two old ladies tore into each other (believe me, it was scary). Eventually, my champion grabbed 2000 dong from the vendor and thrust them into my hands. I'd been overcharged and she was in incensed. It turned out that she is related to my landlady and was looking after me.

She saved me 6p.

The bread roll was nice.

It happened here ...




















You'll note the metal shutters in the picture - along with bored security guards, they are everywhere in Hanoi. Surely no-one would dare shoplift as they'd have a load of security guards, desperate for action, all over them before they could escape on their getaway xeom.

I try to chat to our security guards at work at times. However, being able to say, 'My name is Graham. I'm from England. What's your name?' does not make me a particularly good conversationalist. If they go off the script and say something that I'm not expecting, I'm stumped. I look forward to the day when I can hold a simple conversation worth having (don't hold your breath).

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It's almost Tet - the Vietnamese new year - and so we had a British Council New Year Party. They have a strange custom at these parties - if you don't move fast enough, they dress you up as a tree...















I didn't win the 'tree lookalike' competition - Steve on my right got that, but was thought to be the most amusing. Can't think why...

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Bike photo of the month.
These Tet trees are everywhere at the moment; the equivalent of Christmas trees I think.

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As it's Tet I have another holiday and I'm off to Laos. I'll have a few things to write about in my next blog I'm sure.