Laos

Laos is a feast for the eyes and a rest for the ears. Certainly, having spent the last few months in busy Hanoi, Laos is a breath of fresh air, both literally and metaphorically. There is very little traffic and what traffic there is abides by the rules of the road without tooting horns once.

Laos is such a quiet place that some people haven’t heard of it at all and many could not name its capital city. Well, it’s Vientiane and it’s a rather picturesque place with beautiful buildings everywhere.

Laos was occupied by the French in the 19^th Century and that continued until 1953. The French influence continues – road signs (and many others) are in French as well as Lao in the capital and you can get Pain au Chocolat as good as any I’ve had in France.

It was mixed up in the Vietnam War (they call it The American War in these parts) too and, as a result, Laos has the dubious distinction of being the most bombed country, per head of population (about 6 million), in the world. This is because the Vietnamese used the jungles of Laos as a ‘secret’ passageway during the war. Not so secret it seems as the Americans dropped one planeload of bombs every eight minutes, day and night, for nine years. Many of them did not go off and so the country is absolutely littered with unexploded bombs, which makes farming a very dodgy enterprise. There are organisations devoted to clearing these bombs but it will take many more years.

It’s possible to see the main features of Vientiane in a day. There are beautifully-decorated temples everywhere as well as other buildings.

This one was modelled on the Arc de Triomphe in Paris.

Its lamps use low-energy light bulbs. Laos is moving with the times ...

*****

I then caught a bus to Luang Prabang, about 150 miles north of the capital. It might not be far, but it takes ages to get a bus up all the hills in between.

The Buddhist influence is strong and orange-robed monks are everywhere.

There's a hill in the middle of town and it's well worth the walk up it for the views.

I went to a demonstration of traditional dance. It was fun to watch, but I didn't have a clue what was going on.

*****

I wanted to see a bit of the countryside so I booked on a three-day trek. It was the best thing I could have done – several of my favourite activities squeezed into one trip. OK, so we didn’t eat chocolate spread sandwiches or go climbing, but there were the other things I enjoy.

We started by mountain biking along dirt roads for a few hours. We had to cross a river at one point so the local bike ferry was deployed.

We finished at an Elephant Village, a project devoted to protecting elephants, which are under threat in Laos. Here we had an elephant ride and were given our green lunch box – a banana leaf as a wrapper that contained rice with chicken and veg. Very nice too.

A brief dip at a waterfall followed ...

and then a walk to a village, which was home for the night. We weren’t too far from town but this was a step back in time for us all – there was a generator, which allowed for some houses to have a bit of light and access to Thai TV (a debatable pleasure!) in the evenings, but few trappings of modern life as we know it. Livestock was running everywhere, kids were rolling in the dirt having fun …

Bed was a mat, a thin duvet and a mosquito net in a bamboo hut.

The village rules are displayed for all visitors to see. Judging by some of them (e.g. point 6) they must have had a few unsavoury characters in the past. I wondered how I could leave my prostate outside my room …

Next day we walked over the hills, passing through a couple of villages. If they don’t have access to a road, the villages are really poor. Larger villages have a school but smaller ones certainly don’t, so the children either walk there or don’t go at all.

We stopped for buffalo noodle soup for lunch (rather tasty) and viewed snake & scorpion whiskey. I gave that a miss.

The next day we went kayaking. They use large, unsinkable (and rather cumbersome) plastic kayaks that will bounce down any rapids. It was a lovely paddle through beautiful scenery.

And that was my trip over. Now I’m back in Hanoi and back to work.

*****

There is no bike photo of the month as I didn’t see anything unusual on a bike in Laos.

Happy new year! I hope you had a good Christmas. I was at home and it was definitely worth the money to see all the family. I also got to the Peak District for a spot of walking in quite a few spots of rain...


















Walking in the rain is quite a niche activity that only seems to please a few people (in fact, I may be the only one) but being near my favourite climbing location, whatever the weather, made for a great holiday.





























We stayed in a really cosy cottage with rather low ceiling beams.

*****

Now, I'm not just your average expat - oh no, I'm a resident of Vietnam and now have a (temporary) Residency Permit to prove it. I had a nervous few moments at Heathrow airport however as the check-in guy hadn't seen one before. He looked at it for some time then passed it to his colleague, who looked at it for some time. They then both took it to a 3rd colleague, who looked at it for some time. My check-in guy eventually came back and said, 'OK' and I could breathe again.

*****

An ever-present feature of life on the streets are the xeoms. Literally 'hug bikes', these are motorbike taxis that are everywhere in Hanoi and, I suspect, other parts of Vietnam. They're a very handy way to get around town if you want them, and rather annoying if you don't. They find you before you find them. In town, you will constantly hear 'motobye?' (this is literally how it sounds) - their way of touting for business. If you want a lift you 1. Check they have a spare helmet (which might not fit); 2. Agree a price (vital) or pay way too much at your destination; 3. Get on and hold on tight - either the driver or, as I prefer, the back of the bike.

The only time you can't find one is outside work at 10pm, which is when I sometimes finish. This was one deciding factor that led to me buying a bike.

I don't know for sure, but I reckon that if you put all the xeom drivers end-to-end they would reach the moon. Well, some of them certainly try to reach speeds capable of getting you there. It's wise to hang on tight.

I can now proudly say 'I'm walking' to xeom drivers who want to give a lift. I usually point at my feet though - just to make sure they understand.

*****

The bread roll fiasco.

I bought a bread roll a few weeks ago. This may sound like an ordinary occurence but what followed was not. I bought it from a street vendor who was passing my front door; she charged me 5000 dong (about 15p) and I was happy with that. Well, a passing old lady was not. She saw what had happened and went ballistic - at the street vendor, not me thankfully. I stood there, bread roll in hand and jaw open while these two old ladies tore into each other (believe me, it was scary). Eventually, my champion grabbed 2000 dong from the vendor and thrust them into my hands. I'd been overcharged and she was in incensed. It turned out that she is related to my landlady and was looking after me.

She saved me 6p.

The bread roll was nice.

It happened here ...




















You'll note the metal shutters in the picture - along with bored security guards, they are everywhere in Hanoi. Surely no-one would dare shoplift as they'd have a load of security guards, desperate for action, all over them before they could escape on their getaway xeom.

I try to chat to our security guards at work at times. However, being able to say, 'My name is Graham. I'm from England. What's your name?' does not make me a particularly good conversationalist. If they go off the script and say something that I'm not expecting, I'm stumped. I look forward to the day when I can hold a simple conversation worth having (don't hold your breath).

*****

It's almost Tet - the Vietnamese new year - and so we had a British Council New Year Party. They have a strange custom at these parties - if you don't move fast enough, they dress you up as a tree...















I didn't win the 'tree lookalike' competition - Steve on my right got that, but was thought to be the most amusing. Can't think why...

*****

Bike photo of the month.
These Tet trees are everywhere at the moment; the equivalent of Christmas trees I think.

*****

As it's Tet I have another holiday and I'm off to Laos. I'll have a few things to write about in my next blog I'm sure.

A short trip to Cat Ba

Last weekend I headed off to Cat Ba island. It's just off the coast, in Ha Long Bay, about 70 miles from Hanoi, which makes it a reasonably easy journey from home. The main attraction for me is that it is well set up for outdoorsy things so I thought I'd go and find out more, with a view to popping in a few times over the next couple of years.

A few companies offer transport to the island. The best way to do it appeared to be with Hoang Long who offer a coach-minibus-boat-minbus combination to get you door to door so I went for that.

The main town on Cat Ba island is Cat Ba strangely enough. It's basically about 1km of hotels and cafes, each of which offer trips to the surrounding islands, which are the reason for its UNESCO World Heritage Site status. On my next trip I hope to get out on a kayaking and climbing trip around the islands and should have some decent photos.

I came across some fisherman loading ice ready for their next trip out.



I hired a mountain bike to see some of the island. I didn't reckon with the fact that I would be cycling through roadworks and a quarry though. When it was time to turn around I realised I had a flat. As luck would have it, I just happened to be having a drink at a cafe owned by the local bicycle repair man. He sprang into action and did a great job. I was pleased, not least because it was 5 miles back to my hotel.




















This primeval-looking beastie spends its days outside a restaurant waiting to be chosen for somebody's plate. I was told that eating it would make me stronger. I think it would make me sick.

*****

A few weeks ago I met up with John & Tricia, friends from my church in Manchester, who were travelling with friends in these parts and found time to take me out for dinner! Very nice it was too. It was lovely to see folk from back home.

*****

Living in the backstreets in Hanoi is always entertaining. You don't have to go far to be inside a
maze of small alleys. It's very dark at night but coming home in the evening doesn't feel threatening. Based on my experiences with the locals so far, if there are any muggers I think they'd want to shake my hand and practise their English.

During the day, they are a hive of activity...

*****

Face masks are worn by many on the roads. Given the amount of pollution, I can understand their concern but I'm not convinced they make any difference. Many women also wear hoods and even flaps over their hands to keep the sun off as being too brown is unfashionable.

*****

I recently went to a Christmas concert at the Goethe Institute which is the German cultural organisation in Hanoi. We sang a few carols in German. My linguistic talents are being stretched to the limit these days.

*****

Bike photo of the month. I have even seen panes of (toughened) glass and mattresses being carried.

*****

Well, I've survived my first term at the Britsh Council and look forward to the next one. The students tend to be keen and hard-working, which is wonderful. Pronunciation is a big issue though, so I'm learning more about that at the moment and will explain more in a future blog.

I'm about to catch a plane home now so I'll sign off and wish you all a very

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Chúc các anh Giáng Sinh và năm mới vui vẻ!

And, for all my Polish buddies ...

Wesołych Swiąt i Szczęśliwego Nowego Roku!

A Vietnamese lesson

I am eternally indebted to Alexandre de Rhodes, a French Jesuit scholar, for he was responsible for introducing the script which is used in Vietnam today – one that looks a lot like English. This at least gives me a fighting chance. There are several differences of course – e.g. there are 12 vowels and 17 consonants.

‘a’ has two other variants – ă and â – required because of the different sounds made in Vietnamese.

The main difficulty though, is that there are 6 tones, each indicated by an accent: á à ả ã ạ a (the last tone is no accent). Of course, you can have ‘new’ letters with accents too: ắ ẵ ở ự.

So, I can say ‘ma’ with a high, rising tone (má) and it means ‘mother’. However, if I say the same word with a tone that ends abruptly (mạ), it means ‘rice seedling’ and if I say it with what I can only describe as a wobble in my voice (mã), it means ‘horse’. You can imagine how keen I am to get that right (especially if I try some Vietnamese at family gatherings).

My personal favourite word at the moment is Mỹ. Say ‘Me’ in a voice like a mouse with hiccups and you’ll be close. Congratulations – you just said ‘America’ in Vietnamese. Honest.

If you can crack the pronunciation you are well on the way to learning the language as the grammar is quite simple so I’m putting some time in on this (but it’s going to take a while …). I need this pronunciation in class as soon as possible. On Sunday mornings I have 18 teenage students and the same in the afternoon. To be frank, I’m struggling with all the names. I’ve got most of them but when you have two Châu’s and a Trieu in the class (which sound similar) it gets tricky. I’m sure I pronounce many names incorrectly but they’re very gracious and don’t point these errors out.

Some useful phrases for the next time you bump into a Vietnamese person down the high street:

Xin chào (sin chow) - hello

Tên ban là gì? (ten ban la zi) - What is your name?

*****

There is another big difference from any other country I’ve ever been to – there are no coins. The currency is the Dong and at present the exchange rate is about 32,500 Dong to the pound. You soon get used to dealing in big numbers – I changed sixty US dollars at the airport when I arrived and became an instant Dong millionaire. The smallest denomination is a 500 Dong note and it’s worth about 1.5p. 20,000 Dong is about a dollar and you can buy a Vietnamese meal (such as the one in the last blog) in a street café for about 50,000 Dong.

The picture on the notes is Ho Chi Minh – ‘Uncle Ho’ to many here. Vietnam’s most revered character (there’ll be more about him in future blogs).

*****

Back home we use streets to get from one place to another and that’s about it but here it’s where many people conduct their lives – eating, playing badminton and even having their afternoon snooze. Everywhere you go there are families cooking, people drinking tea or beer and selling all manner of things. Badminton courts are marked out on every pavement that is wide enough to accommodate one (and which isn’t covered in bikes) and you’ll find people playing there in the mornings and evenings.

Many houses open onto the street and set themselves up selling drinks, fruit or cooked food. I buy some of my fruit from the lady around the corner. In fact, it’s often hard to get past without trying to sell me something but she’s very good to me and often gives me a ‘souvenir’ as she calls it – an extra something. Last time it was a pomegranate.

I live very near the Temple of Literature – the first ever university in Hanoi dating back to 1070 and dedicated to Confucius. It honours Vietnam’s finest scholars and the stones pictured contain the names of many of them.

Confucius is featured in many statues.

It’s a fascinating place – a quiet haven from the traffic. I was lucky enough to be there during a concert using traditional instruments. OK, I felt obliged to buy their CD but it was well worth it.

****

For the first few weeks I either walked around town or caught buses, with the occasional taxi or xeom (bike taxi) when needed. Walking around town isn’t easy as most pavements are cluttered with parked bikes and people eating, drinking and conducting assorted businesses. You invariably end up walking in the road. The buses are quite good – fairly regular and air-conditioned. A few are modern but many are falling apart. However, you only pay the equivalent of 9p to go anywhere and can sit and watch everyone take their chances in the traffic. What really impressed me though, was the bus conductors, who tell people to give up their seats for the elderly!

I eventually decided that the quickest way around town is a bike so I am now the proud owner of an electric bike. OK, Evel Knievel it is not – this thing would struggle to jump 12 matchboxes – but it gets me about well enough, and in a city where there’s too much traffic to really go fast, I keep up with the flow. Now, if crossing the road here is exciting, you should try driving. They come at you from all directions and red lights are often just for show so you can reasonably expect to have a bike or car coming at you from the side and often, head on. Amazingly, there is no road rage – totally unexpected and erratic manoeuvres are all part of the game and everyone accepts that.

To be on the safe side I bought a helmet. I went for a bog-standard black one but you can buy a wide range of them in traditional Vietnamese designs ...

To be truly Vietnamese you have to balance a totally improbable load on the back so I had a go at transporting a new IKEA-type armchair home on mine. Thanks to the chap who tied it on, it worked!

*****

Bike photo of the month.

This biker looks like he’s moving house by bike ...

*****

It seems like there are a thousand things to say about Hanoi. And that’s before I start travelling around the country. I’ll write again soon but in the meantime I have far more important things on my mind like, where on earth do I buy trousers that fit me?